{"id":437,"date":"2012-05-21T17:21:14","date_gmt":"2012-05-22T00:21:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/toddrsmith.com\/baby\/?page_id=437"},"modified":"2018-08-13T12:38:35","modified_gmt":"2018-08-13T19:38:35","slug":"moderation-key-sleep-training","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"http:\/\/toddrsmith.com\/baby\/baby-sleep-tips-contents\/moderation-key-sleep-training\/","title":{"rendered":"Moderation – The Key in Sleep Training"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Moderation<\/a>Here are more details about the hybrid approach that worked for my children. (Also see the previous chapter\u00a0My Hybrid Approach [a case study]<\/a><\/strong><\/span> for an overview).<\/span><\/p>\n

Remember that you don’t have to choose<\/strong> either extreme<\/em>…<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0Letting Them Cry?\u00a0\u00a0 – Or –\u00a0\u00a0 Rocking Them to Sleep? \u00a0\u00a0 Hmmmm…
\n<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Letting them cry all night to get them to sleep can create a baby who doesn’t feel safe<\/em><\/strong> and has trouble sleeping.\u00a0 <\/span><\/p>\n

On the other hand, holding and rocking your baby all night to get them to sleep isn’t good for<\/strong> your sleep needs<\/strong><\/em> and they don’t learn how to fall asleep on their own<\/strong><\/em>. It can instill a fear of sleep<\/em><\/strong> in them which surfaces later when they don’t have you<\/strong> to rock them to sleep<\/em>.<\/span><\/p>\n

My target was to instill a healthy sleep attitude in my children and to insure everyone in our family got a restful night’s sleep.<\/span><\/p>\n

Here’s an example of a routine I used to help my babies fall asleep:<\/span><\/h3>\n

I would hold them and sing the same 3 songs to them quietly to help guide them toward sleep<\/strong><\/em>. <\/span><\/p>\n

I’d try to put them to bed drowsy, but awake<\/strong><\/em>. It helped my children\u00a0associate their bed with falling asleep<\/strong><\/em>. <\/span><\/p>\n

If they feel asleep in my arms before I finished my routine, then I’d put them gently into their bed.<\/span><\/p>\n

I didn’t want to make them dependent on me to fall asleep by always<\/strong> <\/em>having them fall asleep in my arms. <\/span><\/p>\n

Ideally, you get them started down the sleepy path<\/strong><\/em> and then they learn how to fall asleep themselves<\/strong><\/em> in their crib – without you holding, rocking, singing to them throughout the night to get them to sleep. I would still hold and sing and rock them as part of the routine. <\/span><\/p>\n

Those bonding moments<\/strong><\/em> gave my children clues that it was time for sleep<\/strong><\/em>. The purpose of holding and rocking and singing was to guide<\/strong> <\/em>my babies down the path toward sleep – not to make them fall asleep in my arms<\/strong><\/em>. That’s a key point. <\/span><\/p>\n

This approach enabled them to more easily adjust to different sleeping scenarios as they grew and developed because at the core – they always had what they needed to fall asleep – themselves<\/strong><\/em>.<\/span><\/p>\n

Once I got them into a peaceful state – ready to sleep<\/strong><\/em>. I put them down into their crib – awake if they were still awake after those 3 songs – or – asleep if they fell asleep. If they were still awake I’d slowly drift out of the room softly singing a song, singing more and more quietly<\/strong><\/em> to enhance the feeling I was drifting<\/strong><\/em> farther and farther away peacefully<\/strong><\/em>, close the door and continue to fade off as I walked down the hall.<\/span><\/p>\n

Usually, that was enough to have them drift off to sleep<\/strong><\/em>.<\/span><\/p>\n

If they woke up later and started crying I’d return, check as quietly as I could to see if they had a soiled diaper.\u00a0 If so, I’d change them as gently as I could – trying not to stimulate them more<\/strong><\/em>. <\/span><\/p>\n

If they didn’t need changing and their cry was not a cry of physical pain but more a call for attention and holding, I’d say, “Shhhhhhhhh…Go to sleep…Good…Night…”<\/strong><\/em> as I gave them a firm and gentle rub down the back<\/strong><\/em> and then I’d drift away repeating “Good…Night…” and I’d close the door as quietly as I could. <\/span><\/p>\n

Note that I didn’t pick them up<\/strong><\/em>. I spoke quietly and soothingly<\/strong><\/em> to them and gently rubbed them<\/strong><\/em> as they laid in their crib – to let them know everything was OK and that I was around.<\/span><\/p>\n

If they cried out for attention again I’d open the door enough to poke my head in<\/strong><\/em> and say, “Shhhhhhhhh…Go to sleep…Good…Night…” so softly. Then I’d close the door as quietly as I could.<\/span><\/p>\n

The next time they cried for me I wouldn’t open the door<\/strong><\/em> I’d simply say, “Shhhhhhhhh…Go to sleep…” gently right outside their room<\/strong><\/em>.<\/span><\/p>\n

From here on out – if they continued to cry – \u00a0I’d wait longer and longer<\/strong><\/em> before saying “Shhhhhhhhh…Go to sleep…” gently right outside their room. <\/span><\/p>\n