{"id":425,"date":"2012-05-21T16:35:08","date_gmt":"2012-05-21T23:35:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/toddrsmith.com\/baby\/?page_id=425"},"modified":"2018-08-13T12:35:09","modified_gmt":"2018-08-13T19:35:09","slug":"hybrid-approach-case-study","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"http:\/\/toddrsmith.com\/baby\/baby-sleep-tips-contents\/hybrid-approach-case-study\/","title":{"rendered":"Cry it out? – or – Hold them until they fall asleep? My Hybrid Approach"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"My<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

Here’s an overview of a hybrid approach that worked for my kids.<\/span><\/p>\n

The big question is:<\/h4>\n

Cry it out? \u00a0–\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/span>or – \u00a0H<\/strong><\/em><\/span>old them until they fall asleep?<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/h4>\n

Both extremes<\/em><\/strong> hold hardships and pitfalls<\/strong><\/em> for both baby and parent.<\/span><\/p>\n

Cry It Out?<\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n

I agree that just letting a baby “cry it out<\/strong><\/em>” can undermine the trust between parent and child<\/strong><\/em>. They can learn that sleep is a fearful time<\/strong><\/em> – where they are abandoned<\/strong><\/em>.<\/span><\/p>\n

Rock To Sleep?<\/span><\/h3>\n

I also agree that holding and rocking<\/strong><\/em> and soothing a baby to sleep continuously throughout the night<\/strong><\/em> is not healthy<\/strong><\/em> for your baby because separation anxiety<\/strong><\/em> can develop. <\/span><\/p>\n

They become so dependent<\/strong><\/em> on the soothing parent that they don’t learn how to sleep alone<\/strong><\/em> and soothe themselves back to sleep<\/strong><\/em> if they are not\u00a0held. <\/span><\/p>\n

Also, it’s not healthy for parents who can become too sleep deprived<\/strong><\/em> constantly holding and rocking their baby throughout the night. <\/span><\/p>\n

On nights when you’re not able to continuously soothe them throughout the night, they become distressed and fearful<\/strong><\/em>. Sleep becomes an anxious time<\/strong><\/em> – again where they are abandoned<\/strong><\/em>.<\/span><\/p>\n

A little cry it out + a little rock to sleep works<\/span><\/h3>\n

So, if both extremes<\/em> <\/strong>are unhealthy – then how can you teach your baby the gift of healthy sleep habits? <\/span><\/p>\n

Combining<\/strong><\/em> the best of the “Cry it out”<\/strong><\/em> approach and the “Soothe them to sleep”<\/strong><\/em> approach worked<\/em><\/strong> for my 2 kids.<\/span><\/p>\n

An advantage to having your baby be able to fall asleep in their bed and<\/em> sometimes in your arms – is that they will not be terrified when they wake up in the middle of the night<\/strong><\/em> and you’re not there.\u00a0 <\/span><\/p>\n

If they always<\/strong> <\/em>fall asleep in your arms, then your arms become their perceived bed<\/strong><\/em>, and their actual bed becomes frighteningly strange<\/strong><\/em>. <\/span><\/p>\n

You can imagine how you’d feel if you woke up in the middle of the night on the kitchen table<\/strong><\/em> instead of in your bed. That is what it must feel like to a baby who is only able to fall asleep in a parent’s arms and then wakes up in the middle of the night in their bed instead of in your arms<\/strong><\/em>. Where did those arms go? They feel something must be wrong<\/strong><\/em>. Whaaaaaaaaa!<\/span><\/p>\n

(In the next chapter<\/a><\/span> I give an example – step by step – of what I’d do).<\/span><\/p>\n

In a nutshell…<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n